


Trapped

by Fragile_Porcelain



Series: Chosen [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adult Content, Alpha Gabriel, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Cutting, Darkish Elements, Evil Samandriel, Lack of Communication, M/M, Mildly Dubious Consent, Misunderstandings, Mutual Pining, Obedience training (past), Omega Sam Winchester, Punishment, Triggers, happyish ending
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-07
Updated: 2016-02-23
Packaged: 2018-05-18 17:07:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,637
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5936272
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fragile_Porcelain/pseuds/Fragile_Porcelain
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sam had been trapped for 325 days. He had been counting. He had hoped that it wouldn't have been this way. That maybe it would change. That maybe the angel would warm up to him. But it had almost been a year and he was still getting the cold shoulder. Sam didn't understand what he had done wrong, but he knew it was his fault. There was no way there was anything wrong with Gabriel. The archangel was perfect. So it was something wrong with him</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Upon request from katie103 and others, all chapter are now uploaded and Trapped is complete. Hope you enjoy.

Sam had been trapped for 325 days. He had been counting. He had hoped that it wouldn't have been this way. That maybe it would change. That maybe the angel would warm up to him. But it had almost been a year and he was still getting the cold shoulder. Sam didn't understand what he had done wrong, but he knew it was his fault. There was no way there was anything wrong with Gabriel. The archangel was perfect. So it was something wrong with him. 

'Maybe I'm not good enough? I'm not smart enough? Am I not pretty enough? I'm too tall. To masculine. I'm not what he wants.' 

That's all Sam could think as he ran the shining silver over his writ. The trail of red that followed was a reminder that he was still human, even if his mate wasn't. The knife cut, but it wasn't deep enough to truly harm him. 

He knew he shouldn't being doing it, but he needed something; something to remind him that he was still alive, even though he was numb inside. Watching the red liquid trickle from his arm every morning was the only reminder that he got. 

He wondered how mad Samandriel, Gabriel's assistance, would be if Sam just allowed the blood to hit the carpet. The assistance had thought that he had removed all the sharp objects from Sam’s chambers, but the human was sneaky. Sam had hid several blades away. If he let it to follow him, like a ruby trail, to his bed. Where he wanted to curl up and forget. Forget where and what he was. 

"What have you done?" A voice asked angrily. Sam turned to see Samandriel, standing in the middle of his bedroom. "You stupid boy!" The angel grabbed Sam's wrist and examined the cut. 

Sam glared at the angel. He had to remind himself that the boy before him really was an ageless angel and not the blonde, teenager he was inhabiting. Samandriel's hand began to glow and Sam's cut began to heal. Five seconds later, they separated and the cut remained as nothing more than a pink scar. It joined the others that already lined both his wrists and the top of his thighs. Samandriel glared at him, Sam looked away. He hated the boy’s judgment eyes. 

"That was significantly deeper then yesterdays," Samandriel stated. He took the knife from the counter, wondering how many more Sam had hidden always. "If you do not put an end to this, punishment will ensue." The angel warned. It was the same warning he had given Sam for the last one hundred days. 

Sam took the words with a grain of salt. At first he heeded the angels warning and went a whole two days without cutting. But after hearing the same threat for one hundred days, it was hollow. But Sam allowed a little fear to remain in his mind. Samandriel was an angel, after all. He was stronger, faster and overall more dangerous than Sam. 

"I understand. It will stop." Sam agreed, the same way he had for one hundred days. Samandriel was less than convinced, just as he had been every other time Sam had said those words. 

"It's time to get really. Gabriel will be expecting you for breakfast. Then you will be give five hours before you must be ready for the Gala. Your clothes have already been chosen. You have ten minutes to be presentable and in the dining hall." Samandriel ordered and was gone without another word. Sam signed. It was just another day in the dark paradise that was his life.


	2. Chapter 2

Sam walked down the steps with two minutes to spear. He adjusted the collar on his shirt. It was uncomfortable. All of Sam's outfits were. The clothes he had brought with him from his life before the bonding had been thrown out. Even his favorite hoodie had been scrapped.

 

_‘A mate to an angel such as Gabriel will not be seen in this... Filth.’_

Samandriel had explained while Sam watched his belongings be thrown into the garbage. It had pained him. Those clothes were the only comforts of home Sam had been allowed to bring with him. Now he had nothing.

 

Samandriel had insisted from that moment on that Sam was only allowed to wear slacks, and button downs. He had to shave every morning and his hair was cut regularly to keep it at a constant length.

 

Sam adjusted his shirt as he entered the dining hall. He made sure his cuffs were buttoned tightly. Samandriel had warned him of very harsh punishment if Gabriel found out about the cutting. Gabriel was a General of the Army and didn't needed to be distracted by Sam's ‘problems'. The look in Samandriel's eyes was genuine when he made his threat. So, for three hundred days Sam had warn long sleeve shirts, with the cuffs buttons so Gabriel couldn't see what he had done.

 

Sam took a deep breath, in hopes of settling his nerves, before entering the dining hall.  The large room could accommodate hundreds of people, like it would in a number of hours, but at the moment only Gabriel and Samandriel sat at the large table. Around them, workers labored to get prepared for the Gala. Sam figured the two angels were busy discussing last minute details of the night, so there was no reason for Gabriel to pay him any mind as he approached.

 

Sam was used to not being noticed. Even the workers didn’t noticed him. They worked around him as he approached the table. Sam’s face burned hot with embarrassment when someone bumped into him. He was going to just apologize and move on. But that didn’t happen

 

The man was carrying a tray, loaded with dishes. When the two figures collided, the tray went tumbling to the ground with a shattering crash. Everyone Froze. Sam stopped breathing. Their eyes focused on him. Sam wanted to die. He knew his face was bright red. He finally noticed the shattered tableware and his heart skipped a beat. Gabe was going to be angry.

 

Sam apologized repeatedly as he dropped to his knees and began cleaning up. The worker was also apologizing as he helped cleaned, hopping not to be punished for disturbing the Angel’s mate. Sam didn’t hear the other man though. He was too distracted. All he could think about was the punishment which he knew would be awaiting him. Over half of the dishes were broken, and it was all his fault.

 

Sam had salvaged the surviving dishes and was sweeping the glass pieced with his hands. He took no notice of the cuts the glass was leaving behind. The worker watched the angel’s mate with wide eyes and concern. There were a lot of little pieces, and Sam was determined to get them all.

 

Sam ignored his bleeding fingers as he moved to clean up another pile of glass. The worker who had bumped into him had stopped helping. Sam didn’t notice the man wasn’t even kneeling anymore, or that he wasn’t even in the dining hall. He didn’t know that all the workers had been ordered from the room, and that only two angels remained.

 

Sam was focused. He had broken the Angel’s property, and he knew the Angel would have him punish to him for his disobedience. Sam had spent two years in classes learning how to be a ‘perfect Carrier’. Breaking a tray full dishes would have been under the ‘no’ column. Even though it wasn’t technically his fault, he could expect, at least, ten lashings. 

 

His blood covered fingertips reached for another piece, only to have a hand stop him. He fell silent, realizing that he had been repeating his apology the entire time. His body froze. He had hopped the angel would at least have the curtsy to punish him in private. Sam wasn’t one for exhibitionism. But it his mate wanted him to, Sam had no choice. He moved to his submissive position.

 

He was still on his knees. His back was straight. His hips and shoulders were square. His hands were at his sides and his head was down. Sam chose to close his eyes, in hopes of keeping his tears at bay.

 

He and the others had learned submissive position from school. It was designed to show their obedience. On occasions, they had been forced to stay in that position the whole duration of class. If they had shifted or slacked, they were punished. Sometimes it was a wooden ruler to the back of their thighs, or neck. Other times it was full on slap across their face. The teachers had trained them to stay at position for hours if their angels wished them.

 

But 325 days, Sam had never had to use it. Gabriel had never shown an interest in seeing him on his knees, and Sam had never screwed up enough to warrant such a gesture. Until now. He hoped it would lesson his punishment. It really had been an accident. Sam could only pled that his mate was an understanding angel.

 

Gabe caught his breath. He had never seen Sam in his submissive position before. His mate was gorgeous on a normal basis. So to see him willingly submit made him look even better. But it broke Gabriel’s heart to see Sam was on the verge of tears. He knew why Sam was choosing to submit. He knew what the human was feeling. It was fear. Sam was afraid of him. That was the last thing Gabriel ever wanted. He never wanted Sam to be afraid, let alone afraid of him.

 

A hand under Sam’s chin lifted his head up. Sam looked up, only to be staring into the warm whiskey pools’ of Gabriel’s eyes. The Angel looked genuinely concerned as he stared down at his mate. The man’s amber eyes were searching, seeming to cut through to Sam’s soul. Sam could only hold that intense gaze for a few moments, before he had to turn away. He turned back to the glass shards.

 

“I’m sorry… I didn’t mean to… I wasn’t watching where I was going. I’m sorry." Sam cringed. He had spoken without being spoken to, another sign of disobedience. Sam knew it was a minimum of ten lashes, and that was only if his angel was being very gracious. He didn’t look up when Gabriel spoke.

 

"Samuel, please stop apologizing. It was an accident, these things happens." Gabriel kept his voice gentle. He didn't want to frighten the startled man. He snapped his finger and the dishes were back in one piece.  "Sam, will you stand?" He offered his hand to the human. Sam hesitated but allowed himself to be pulled to his feet. Gabe led him to the table. Even pulling out the chair for him.

 

Sam said nothing. He kept his head down, eye on the table. His hands were at his sides and he could feel the blood dripping onto the floor. He was sure he would get lashings for that as well but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He deserved them. He was a disappointed. Both to himself and to Gabriel. Sam had no illusion as to why Gabriel didn’t love him. He was a disaster. No one could love him.

 

Gabriel watched his mate. His heart was breaking. He would almost feel the self-hatred radiating from his mate. He could hear the blood dripping from Sam’s cuts. But the man did nothing to stop it. He was punishing himself.

 

“Sir, if we could…” Samandriel began, trying to draw Gabriel back into the conversation before Sam had interrupted. But the senior angel only held up his hand for silence.

 

“Sam, give me your hands.” Gabriel ordered lightly. His mate lifted his hands and Gabe took them. He felt horrible. His hand began to glow and the cuts were quickly healed. Unlike Samandriel, Gabriel’s grace completely healed the skin. There was no scares left behind. Gabriel’s hand stopped glowing, leaving behind only soft, new skin. Gabriel didn’t moved his hands away. Sam didn’t pull away, but he didn’t look up to Gabriel. Gabriel sighed.

 

“Sam, will you please stop. It was an accident. These things happen. I will not punish you for something that you had no control over.” Gabriel gave Sam’s hand a light squeeze. Workers arrived and plates were set before them. Gabriel was reluctant, but he moved away from Sam. He focused on his food. Gabriel and Samandriel didn’t need to eat, but allowed them element of humanity.

 

Once the angels had been evicted from the heaven, they had tried to fit in. Eating, sleeping, and other aspects of humanity had been something the angels had learned to adapt. There were some who had chosen not to change. Most of the high ranking angels had chosen not to give in. They kept with the idea that humans were lesser beings. Gabriel was one of the exceptions. He liked the idea of coexisting. For angels and humans could live together. 

 

Gabriel had always thought that way. Until he had taken his first mate, Kali, a human woman. Gabriel had always believed in equality. Kali had made it better. Gabe truly loved her. When Kali gave birth to their daughter, Carmen, Gabriel was both happy and sad. Carmen has Nephilim, a child who was half human and half angel.

 

Many Naphilims had been born since the exile. From one night stands, or accidents. They took on the appearance of humans but had the strength of an angel. Most of the time, the contributing angel didn’t stick around, unknowing of how to handle a child. A Naphilim was too much on the body of a female human. No woman had ever survived the birth. With no parents to guide them, Naphilims didn’t understand how to act, they weren’t taught to control their strength or abilities. It was quickly a disaster. Naphilims ran wild.

 

The birth of Carmen was a blessing, and a horror. Kail had died. After fourteen hours of labor, she had died. Gabriel was there for every moment. Left with a small daughter that he had no idea how to raise. But he had promised Kail he would. So he did. Gabriel loved his mate, and he lover their daughter. Carmen was strong, and stubborn but he was able to teach her.

 

Carmen was only three year old when the orders came. The Naphilims were out of hand. They had no concept of humanity, and no control as angels. A note from above had been strict and to the point. They were to be destroyed. All of them.

 

Gabriel had learned human emotion. At least he had the basic idea of them. Carmen didn’t understand what was happening, when the guards took her away. She was crying, and scared. She easily threw off the angels, being stronger than them. She would running back to Gabriel. She was trying to understand what was happening. 

 

Gabriel didn’t understand the liquid that fell from his eyes, and the feeling in his heart. It was like he was being stabbed. He would learn later that he had been crying, and that his feeling had been pain. But Gabriel didn’t know that then. He had forced his daughter to leave, to allow her to be killed. He had lost his daughter and his Mate.  

 

Now, as he sat picking at his breakfast he thought about all that had happened. Almost a thousand years before their father had given them a second chance. Before he had agreed that a new generation of Naphilims were allowed to come into being. But only under certain circumstances. Human males had begun to be born, with the ability to bare children, Naphilim children.

 

The human male body would handle the birthing process, with a large amount of their mated angels Grace. It the mated angel left, the embryo would die and the man would continue to live. Father new rule was that mating was permanent. When a Chosen (a human male what could bear children) was mated to an angel, a transfer took place. The human received part of the angels Grace and the angel was imbedded with the human’s DNA. The addition of the DNA brought with it emotions. Some angels had a hard time adapting, other did fine.

 

Some Angels tried taking a mate, only to have complications. The two being weren’t compatible. Either the male would reject the grace or the angel would reject the DNA. Neither were effected, but it didn’t allow for the creation of the Naphilim. Gabriel had been lucky. He and Sam had been compatible.

 

Gabe had waited a long time. He didn’t know if he could suffer the loss if anything were to happen again. Years ago, something told him to start looking again, so he did. It took him years to find Sam. Find a compatible mate. When Sam touched his skin on the day of their mating he had known that Sam was perfect.

 

Gabe looked to his mate now. Sam looked miserable. He was moving his eggs around his plate, he hadn’t eaten anything. Gabe was heartbroken. He loved Sam. Sam was smart, funny, and gorgeous. But he could understand why Sam didn’t love him.

 

Like always, Gabriel’s siblings had once more taken advantage of the human race. Their exile from heaven meant that Earth was their new home, and they quickly had it under their control.  The earth was ran by the angels, humans were just there as an inconvenience. When the Chosen’s began to be born, the angel look advantage.

 

At first, the Chosens’ were taken at birth, sold to potential angels. But, thanks to Gabriel, that had changed. Gabriel was an archangel, and a General of the Army, he had a great sway in what happened. Now, Chosens’ had to wait until they were eighteen, and had a basic education, before they could be taken from their families.

 

Although most of them were still sold. But now it was by their family. Parents would sell their Chosen boys for money. Lots of money. Only one in every four thousand males birthed were born as Chosen. Families could sell their Chosen for hundreds of thousands of dollars, more than they could make in a life time of working for any angel. The Chosens’ didn’t see any of that money. Because even the lowest ranking angel was higher than the highest human.

 

Gabriel felt bad. He loved Sam, he really did. But he felt horrible that he had to buy the man. Sam had been expensive, but Gabriel would have paid three times that price to get him. Sam had been young and Gabe had been willing to wait. But Sam was adamant. Gabriel still said no. He gave Sam two years. Paying for him, but giving him time to become himself before being mated.

 

Gabriel thought he was being fair, but watching Sam over the last year, he wondered if he had made a mistake. Sam had cried the day of the mating. Gabe had felt bad. He didn’t want Sam to be forced into mating with him. If Sam had asked, Gabriel would have called it off. He would even have let Sam keep the money. But Sam stood beside him at the altar and agree to be mated with Gabriel. 

 

Sam had only brought a single bag of clothes with him on the night of the mating. Gabriel moved him into the house, hopping that the sadness would leave his Mate. It didn’t. It got worse. Resentment and sadness was all that Gabriel felt then in proximity of his other man. The feeling only worsened when Sam was on his cycle. Every six weeks when Sam’s body would ready himself for the chance to become pregnant. When his cycle came around, Gabriel couldn’t help go to his Mate. It was the point in time when Sam hated Gabriel most.

 

Gabriel did feel bad. He only visited Sam’s chambers during the three days of his cycle. The rest of the time, he allowed Sam his space. He didn’t want to interfere with Sam. He allowed Sam to come to him. But Sam didn’t. Sam didn’t even wear the pendent, which Gabriel had given him on the day of their mating. It should have allowed Gabriel too truly know what Sam was thinking and feeling. But Sam never wore it.

 

They didn’t talk about it. Most of the time Gabe was so busy, that he didn’t see Sam. Sometimes it was days or weeks. He wondered if Sam was happy, when he was away. But when he returned, Sam was as miserable as always. Gabe hated it. All of it. He wanted Sam to be happy, to love him. The same way he loved Sam.

 

“Sam…” Gabriel lowered his fork to his plate. He had lost his appetite.

 

“May I be excused?” Sam cut in quickly. His food had grown cold and he was no longer hungry. Gabriel let out a heavy sigh.

 

“Very well. But I wish you would eat,” Gabriel had noted that Sam had been eating less and less. “Please?”

 

“I’ll be presentable for the Gala.” Sam was out of his seat, heading out of the dining room. Gabriel thought that he saw tears in the man’s eyes. Gabriel pushed his plate away. He wasn’t hungry anymore.

 

“Sir, if we could…” Samandriel began, trying to draw Gabriel back into the conversation that had been interrupted so long ago. Gabriel sighed again.

 

“Yes, very well.” Gabriel ran a hand through his hair. They did still have a long list of things to finish before the Gala.


	3. Chapter 3

Sam was in tears by the time he had got to his room. He had been so horrible, yet Gabriel had allowed him to eat. It made his feel even worse. If Gabriel had taken breakfast, Sam could consider it his punishment. How he was going to spend the rest of the day watching, waiting for the pain to come. It was like torture.

To make it worse, he could feel his cycle approaching. It would be there within the next day. He hated his cycles. They were painful, and uncomfortable. He spent most of his days cured up on his bed, covered in sweat. He didn’t like others to know about it, so he spent more of the three days locked in his room. Gabriel was his only visitor.

His mate’s touches made him feel better. Gabriel’s skin on his was a comfort. Even though Sam wasn’t allowed to see his mate. It was always the same. Sam on his hands and knees. Gabe taking him from behind. Sam could feel the discomfort radiating from Gabriel every time. A reminder of how much his mate loathed him. Sam never even got sleep in his angel’s bed. Gabriel kept him in a room, locked away like an unwanted pet.

After the third days, they would part ways once more. Gabriel would leave. He would spend day or sometimes weeks away. Sam hated that Gabe would go. Most of the time, he didn’t even wish Sam farewell. It made Sam sad. He could be left alone, in Gabriel’s large house. He hated that he couldn’t be what Gabriel wanted. With that sad thought, Sam realized he needed a nap. He curled up into his bed, and was asleep within seconds.

Gabriel wished that they had just met at a coffee shop or some restaurant. He wished Sam had just fallen in love with him. The fact that he had paid for him, made Gabe feel dirty. He felt like he was forcing Sam. Gabriel had brought his concerns up with several of his siblings. He wanted advice, and an outside look on the situation. But they had all said the same thing.

_'You bought him, you can do whatever you want with him.'_

The words had angered Gabriel. Angels like Gabriel were rare. Most of them stuck with the idea of chosen being theirs to take. His brother and sisters still held no sense of humanity, even the mated ones. They had emotion, but they didn't understand compassion, or the fact that unwanted sex was rape. Gabe had heard horrible stories about his siblings even killing Chosens if they couldn't bear children within the first year.

Some angels had two or three Chosens, to maximize the possibility of pregnancy. Gabriel knew, for a fact, that his oldest brother Michael had five Chosens at his disposal. It made Gabriel fell sick to think about. He loved Sam, more than anything, he couldn't imagine feeling that way about anyone else, let alone four others.

What the angels like Michael didn't know, was that Naphilims couldn't grow without a human’s love and an angel’s Grace. Having to split the Grace between more then one chosen actually lowered the chances of conception. It was another one of their father’s rules. If had been writer in the fine print. Most angels over looked it, but Gabriel had read it. The combination of the two elements were hard to find, so Gabriel could count on his hand the number of Naphilims walking the earth.

Gabriel knew, why after a year, Sam was still not pregnant. Gabriel had never used his Grace during their ‘sessions’. He had wanted to. He wanted to surround Sam with his power, to protect him and the implanted seed of a child. Only under the protection of Gabriel Grace would Sam's egg open for fertilization.

But Gabriel felt he would be taking something from Sam. They had never even talked about children. They had never really takes about anything. He didn't know a single fact about Sam. Their longest conversation had only last three minutes. Sam's answers had only been 'yes' or 'no'.

So Gabe kept tight rein on his Grace. Technically, it wouldn't matter even if he used it. The egg could be fertilized, but without Sam's love and acceptance, his body would reject the child. The fact that Sam hating him so much, effected Sam's ability to conserve a child. Sam didn't love him, and he wasn't going to force Sam into loving him either. He sure as hell wasn't to going to have Sam killed, or try and replace him.

Gabriel had talked with one of his brothers, who was actually useful. Castiel was shy, but strong. He didn't understand any of Gabriel's jokes or pop culture references. But he was smart. He had spent years studying humans. As nothing but a lowly ground solider, it was his job to learn, and blend in with society. He was horrible at it, but he had learned a lot in his years posing as a human.

Castiel was the one who had told him to wait. That Sam needed to come to him. He had suggested Gabriel get Sam his own room. Castiel had also suggested that Sam be given the option to wear Gabriel pendent. Gabriel had wanted to argue, but Castiel had a valid point. Sam need to come to Gabriel. Without the pendent, Sam would be able to keep his free will.

Gabriel had almost been mad when his brother made such implications. Yes, the pendent could be a way to control Chosens. If an angel mate was wearing the pendent, the angel could order him to do anything. Yes, Gabriel knew that some angels used it to take advantage of their Chosen, but Gabriel would never. Ever. He like that Sam was smart, his own thinker. It was what had attracted him to Sam. But Castiel was right.

Sam and Gabriel had only been mated for a couple days when Gabriel had gone to see Castiel. In their short time together, Sam had been a whirlwind of emotions. It was hard for Gabe to sort through. But Sadness was the main feeling he got from Sam. These emotions were things he had not felt in years, it was hard to process. He had hoped his little brother could help, but in reality he had hoped for something less drastic. But Cas had been right. Sam needed to remain independent, until he could grow to love Gabriel on his own.

The next night at dinner, Gabe had suggested to Sam that he didn't have to wear the pendent any longer. That it was his choice. If he kept it on, they would learn to sort through their emotions together, if not Gabe could fare learning on his own. The rest of dinner was eaten is silence.

Gabriel knew the exact moment Sam took off the pendent. It was twenty three minutes after their 'talk'. Gabriel's mind grew still and silent. Like the calm after a storm. He was no longer allowed to know the emotions and thought going on in his mate mind. It made him feel empty inside, part of him was missing. Sam was missing.

Gabriel had learned to adapt. He learned to read facial expressions, and body language. If his mate was sad enough, or in enough pain, Gabriel would almost see it radiating from the human. Normally it was sadness, and it shown like a deep blue around Sam's soul. It was killing him to be with Gabe, and killing Gabe to watch him die.

The blue ora around Sam only deeper during his cycles. The night of their mating ceremony, Sam had been on his cycle. He was surrounded by pain, sadness and lot of other emotions. The pendent around his neck was feeding off both their emotions. Sam was cried when Gabriel laid him down. The pendent was leaching fear into Gabriel's mind. He knew Sam didn't want it, but angels’ were instinctive. Even with him mind telling him to stop, his body could only think one word. Breed. Sam smelt sweet and ripe.

He had wanted it to be special. After all it was their first time together and Sam's first time doing anything. Sam was pure, like all Chosens were required to be before being sold. So Gabriel had wanted to go slow, to taste, touch and enjoy. But he would feel Sam’s misery and sadness, Gabriel hated himself.

He had flipped Sam onto this stomach and propped him on the hands and knees. It was the easiest position, and Sam could pretend Gabriel was someone else. That night, and every time since, Gabriel had chosen only to use Sam birth canal.

The canal set behind the Chosens genitalia but before his rectum. It was only present in a Chosen. It help no sensory nerves. It could bring Sam no pleasure. Gabriel had felt the pain shoot through the pendent as he sheathed himself Sam for the first time. Gabriel wanted to kill himself. Sam should never feel pain, definitely not from him. Gabriel didn't know that under him, his mate could feel his emotion.

Sam didn't understand how he could screw up sex when he was literally doing nothing. He hadn't cried out, even though the stretch was sending pain through his whole body. He body was self-lubing, so Gabriel could quick slid all the way in. But Gabriel was going slowly. Sam though it was for his benefit, until he felt the hatred welling up inside the angel. Sam hated himself. He was so horrible that Gabe had wanted to kill himself. With no other solution Sam closed his eyes and cried, silently until Gabriel found his release.

That's how it had been ever since. With the pendent no longer around Sam's neck, he couldn't feel how miserable Gabe was, he just had to imagine. It wasn't hard. Gabriel was always forward with his moments. Not ungentle, just forward. He would knock on Sam's door, wait three second then enter. Sam would already be waiting. He would be laying, face down, and normally already crying.

As a chosen, Sam was emotional during his cycle. His testosterone was outweighed by estrogen. His hormones went crazy and he had little control over his emotions. Normally, his mate’s Grace would help balance him, but Gabriel had never used his powers on him. Sam was sure it was because of shame. Gabriel hated him, so he wouldn't help. Without a steady stream of Grace, Sam couldn’t bare children. Without a child, Sam feared Gabriel would sell him, or worse Gabriel might take a second. A second chosen mean that Sam would be cast aside, forgotten.

So Sam hid his tears from his mate. He let Gabriel have what he wanted. Knowing that his mate felt it was an obligation not something he enjoyed or wanted he do. But Sam stayed silent, just like he had been trained to do in his classes. AngelS didn't like to talk to or really hear their Chosens. Sam was a vessel for child rearing and nothing more. He had spent two years being told that, and with Gabriel against him, he had come to believe it.

When Gabriel finished, he would kissed Sam's shoulder, and thanked him. Sam felt filthy. Yes, Gabriel got off. But his voice when he said those words was always so pained that Sam literally wanted to stop breathing forever. He had hurt his angel and made Gabriel want to kill himself. Sam had failed at the one thing he was literally been born to do.

When Gabriel left, Sam would curl into a ball and cried himself to sleep. Gabriel had fled. He had wanted to stay, to tuck Sam in, and let him know he was loved. But Gabriel could not. Sam's tears broke Gabriel heart, and the human’s emotions were too much. He stood outside his mates chambers, just listening to the man’s sobs. It killed Gabe inside. But he couldn't go back, Sam was crying because of what he had done to him. So Gabriel helplessly listened, until his mate cried himself to sleep

Now, almost a year, Gabriel being inside didn't cause Sam much pain. There was only a slight discomfort through the first push, then after that it would just be a slight annoyance. Sam still cried, but only a couple tears fell. He still hated himself, because his mate hated him.

Gabriel still thanked Sam after every time and it still made Sam fell dirty, like he was nothing but a prostitute. It had been almost year and Sam still had never gotten Gabriel to even kiss him. Sam was just there to satisfy Gabriel instinct to mate. Sam could feel the constant disappoint rolling off of Gabriel.

After Samandriel had forced Sam to take off his pendent, he had wondered how he would ever be able to understand Gabriel, then he realized that he didn't want to. He didn't want to hear the negative thoughts Gabriel was thinking about him. After Gabe left, Sam no longer cried. He just lay were, truly wondering who would miss him if he was gone. He knew Gabriel would not

After their session, Gabe never had to worry about finish Sam, because his mate never even got hard. Sam found no enjoyment in their interaction, which made Gabriel disappointed. So he would leave. He no longer stayed around to listen to Sam's sobs, because they never came. After the first six months Sam no longer cried, at least not loud enough for Gabriel to hear.

Gabriel had been lost in thoughts as he sat at the large table. Beside him Samandriel was talking, but Gabriel didn't hear him. He was lost in his own mind. He was trying to recall if he had ever actually seen Sam smile. It saddened him that he couldn't recall a single time. Sam was so beautiful, he should always be smiling.

"Sir?" Samandriel brought him back to the present. Gabriel blinked back to life. His assistant was looking at him blankly. Samandriel was an unmated angel, he didn't understand emotion.

"Yes. Fine. Whatever." Gabriel rose from the table. His half eaten plate and Sam's untouched one were still lingering. He didn't know what Samandriel had said but Gabriel was sure it had something to be with the Gala. Gabriel was too distracted to care. All he could focus on was Sam.


	4. Chapter 4

Sam’s nap couldn't have been more than a half hour. But it was refreshing. He had been awaken by the rustling of feathers. He looked up to see Samandriel at the foot of his bed. Sam jumped, started. 

"Gabriel has assigned me to deliver your punishment." The angel’s voice was cold. Sam wasn't surprised. Gabriel has never punished Sam in person. He had only ever sent Samandriel to do it. The angel napped his fingers and Sam's hands were cuffed above his head. Sam worked on making his body relax. The lashings hurt, but at least he did get to keep his clothes on, only Gabriel was allowed to see him naked. The cotton cloth would allow some protection. 

"You shall be receiving thirty lashes for your disobedience and destruction of your master’s property. Do you understand?" Sam nodded. He though thirty was a bit steep, but he dare not argue. Gabriel wanted him lashed thirty times, then so be it. The first rule they had taught Sam at the academy was not to argue with your angel, especially when he was angry. 

Above him, Samandriel offered Sam the mouth guard, which Sam accepted. The first time Samandriel had punished him, he had gotten seven lashes and had almost bitten off his tongue. Samandriel had healed it, but now he always insisted on a guard. Sam adjusted the plastic in his mouth, only getting a second before Samandriel landed his first blow, square across his chest. Only 29 more to go. 

Samandriel crisscrossed the patterning. He ran it across Sam's chest, the underside of his arms, and the top of his thighs. The whip he was using wouldn't break the skin, but Sam would have welts. After all, Samandriel was an angel. He was strong. The lashes were painfully hard.

By the tenth strikes Sam was crying. At fifteen, Samandriel had to cover Sam's mouth with his hand to keep the humans screams at bay. By twenty, Sam was begging behind Samandriel's hand for it to stop. By twenty-five, Sam's body was numb. When Samandriel landed the last strike, across Sam's thighs, the human was unresponsive. 

Sam couldn't move, couldn't speak, couldn't cry, and he struggled to breath. His whole body was numb. Samandriel removed the guard, having to force Sam's jaw open, and he did so less then gently.

"You have two hour before we start preparing you for the Gala." Samandriel stated with no emotion. He was gone a millisecond later. Sam didn't care. It pained him to close his eyes, but when he did, he quickly found sleep. 

His hours passed to quickly for Sam. He was once more awoken by the sound of feathers, and Samandriel standing at the foot of his bed. Sam's body was on fire. His hands were still above his head, but they were no longer chaired down. If didn't matter, seeing that he couldn't move anyways. Samandriel showed no emotion as he grabbed Sam's foot. 

His hand began to glow and Sam's level of pain lowered. The red, welter skin quickly healed. Samandriel pulled away after only five seconds. The angel before him wasn't Sam's mate, therefore he couldn't heal him completely. Not that he would anyway. Samandriel would force Sam to wear the welts for two or three days, as a reminder. 

"Time to get ready." Samandriel ordered. He offered Sam a small, yellow pill. Sam didn't argue as the angel placed it on his extended tongue. It was a suppressant. It postponed Sam's cycle by a couple days, allowed him to get through the night without any symptoms or anyone knowing. The only down side, it make Sam feel awful. But Samandriel had said that Gabriel insisted, so Sam didn't argue. He swollen down the pill. Samandriel was out of the room quickly. 

Sam painfully sat up in his bed. The silk sheets were cold without someone else there. But Sam wouldn't know what that felt like. His body hurt, like a low ache. He knew the welts would heal. This wasn't his first punishment, and he had a feeling it wouldn't be his last. Sam hobbled out of bed, heading towards the washroom, it was time to get ready. 

An angel mate was a representation of its angel. Anytime a chosen did anything, good or bad, it reflexes back on their angel. During a Gala or gathering the Chosens were on display. They all looked their best. Seeing that Gabriel was the host, Sam was required to look better than the rest. 

Samandriel overlooked his process, like always. Sam's hair was trimmed, his face shaven. Sam didn't moved as the humans worked. He was almost certain that the straight razor would slit his throat. The offer was almost too tempting. So he just sat still. Samandriel left just before Sam's shower. He wasn't allowed to see Sam without clothes, unfortunately that didn't apply to the workers. They were all human. 

Sam had quickly learned that he couldn't be modest when it came to him looking his best. Sam always wanted to look his best, for Gabriel. He was quickly showered and dried. The workers didn't say anything about the welts covering his body. The shine oil that they rubbed into his skin eased the pain, but only some. 

Jo, one of the workers who Sam had befriended, have him a halfhearted smile. He and Jo had never talked before. That would definitely get Jo into trouble. Humans were lesser beings then Chosens, but Chosens were lesser beings than angels. It was a delicate process. Sam returned the gesture. Jo continued to work, keeping her eyes down. 

Samandriel returned once Sam had a layer of clothes on. He was wearing his slacks and button up. Jo was fixing his hair. Sam felt his heart sink when Samandriel offered him the small box. The pendent in the box was identical to the one that Gabriel still wore every day for the last year. 

When Samandriel said that Gabriel wanted him to take off the pendent, Sam had argued. He didn't want to lose Gabriel. But he did. Samandriel had taken the pendent, hiding it so Sam wouldn't be tempted. Sam had learned to live with the emptiness. 

Now that Sam was given the chance to be connected to Gabriel again, he didn't know if he wanted it. Gabriel would now every emotion Sam was feeling. That was frightening. What would happen it Gabriel felt the desire and want that filled him every time he was near his Mate? Would Gabriel right out tell him that Sam's love was unwanted? Sam was scared as he slipped the necklace on. The party hadn't started and he already wished it was over.


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel was busy taking care of last minute details when he felt the change. It hit him like a ton of bricks. His knees went weak and he stumbled. He was lightheaded. His mind was flooded with emotions. Sam’s emotions. 

“Sir?” Samandriel’s voice said through the fog that was currently Gabriel’s mind. “Are you alright?” 

“Yes, I just…” Gabriel took a moment, he held Samandriel’s arm to keep him stable. He and Sam had been separated for months, the pendent was on overdriving trying to get their connection back. He opened his mouth to speak, only to have a tingling sensation fill him. Gabriel looked up to the staircase, where he knew Sam stood. 

Gabriel caught his breath. Sam was a gorgeous man on a daily bases, but he looked radiant. His skin seemed to be glowing under the three piece tuxedo. He was breathtaking. Anyone, who wasn’t Gabriel, would actually think that Sam looked happy. He had a smile on his face, but it didn’t reach his eyes. Gabriel cringed away at the pain Sam’s pendent was radiating. 

“Gabriel?” Sam asked with concern. He approached his angel, keeping himself close, but still an arm’s length away. His smile was gone, worry plastered his face. 

“I’m alright,” Gabriel straighter. His brain was processing Sam’s feelings, slowly. “Just… Just processing.” Gabe gave his Chosen a light smile. “You look…” 

“Sir, our brothers will be here in four minutes and thirty one seconds. I believe he should finish getting ready.” Samandriel interrupted. Gabriel sighed. He had almost thought he had felt hope coming from Sam, but it was gone just as quickly. Gabe said nothing as he walked away from the human. 

Sam followed after Gabriel, like a proper Chosen. He kept himself a few steps behind Samandriel, who was right at Gabriel’s heels. Samandriel was running over details. Gabriel snapped his fingers and was quickly dressed in an identical outfit as Sam. The only difference was Gabriel’s tie was bright green and had polka dots, while Sam’s was just plain black. Sam wiped the sweat that was coating his forehead. He could only hope that Gabriel didn’t see him. 

Samandriel continued to talk. Gabriel didn’t really listen. He was too distracted. Sam was sad, pained, confused, stressed, and anxious all wrapped into one. Gabriel wondered how someone would have so many emotions in one package. He stopped thinking when he realized that Samandriel had stopped talking and was standing before him, waiting for an answer. 

“Ummm…” Gabriel tried not to flush. He had been paying no attention to the other Angel. “Repeat the question.” 

“Would you prefer to meet your guests here, or greet them at the door?” Samandriel’s was cold, as usual. Gabriel let out a huff. His brothers and sisters would be there momentarily, and he was too distracted to even think. He took a deep breath, he had to focus. He pushed the connection with Sam to the back of his mind. It would lull the effects of Sam’s emotions, but still allow Gabriel to feel his mate. 

“I’ll meet them at the door,” Gabriel said finally. He headed out the room, Samandriel at his heels. Sam stayed where he stood. Sam wasn’t allowed into the entranceway of the house. Samandriel had informed him that Gabriel thought Sam would think about escaping if he got the chance. Therefore, the entranceway was prohibited. 

“Where’s Sam?” Gabriel asked as he stopped beside the large oak doors. He looked over his assistant’s shoulder, expecting to see his mate. But Sam was nowhere to be seen. He searched his connection and only found a solid string of pain. 

“Sir, Michael is here,” Samandriel informed him quickly. Gabriel turned to see his brother walking up the last step to the doorstep. Gabriel forced on a smile. He would have to find Sam later. 

“Michael, my dear brother, how are you?” He shook his brother’s hand, the other hand rested on the other angel’s shoulder. 

They exchanged quick pleasantries, before Michael entered the room. A small man followed behind him. Gabriel smiled at the Chosen, but the man didn’t see. He had his head down, eyes on the ground. Gabriel sighed. It was going to be a long night. 

The line of people was steady. They all gave Gabriel a handshake, and a shoulder pat. Then they entered into the dining hall, their Chosens following after them like wounded puppies. Gabriel grew sadder at each one he saw. But one of his brothers brought him hope. 

“Ezekiel!” Gabriel smiled at the tall man. He didn’t extend his hand to his brother. Instead he threw his arms around him in a hug. Ezekiel retuned the gesture. He gave Gabriel a one armed hug, his other arm occupied by holing his Chosen’s hand. Gabriel pulled from his brother with a smile on his face. He turned to the Chosen. 

“Look at you!” Gabe spoke happily. His hands framed the Chosen’s swollen stomach. Kevin was the first Chosen Gabriel had seen pregnant in a long time. “Is it a boy or girl?” Gabriel directed his question to Kevin, knowing that Ezekiel wouldn’t be mad. 

He and Gabriel were similar in many ways. Of course, Gabriel outranked the other angel. But they both had similar principals and beliefs. Ezekiel believed in a Chosen’s independence and understood that they should be treated like a living thing. He and Kevin had been together for three years, and they had a very solid relationship build on trust and respect. That’s why Gabriel didn’t hesitate to talk with the Chosen directly. 

“He thinks it’s a girl. I think it’s a boy. But we decided to wait until it’s born to find out. We want it to be a surprise!” Kevin said with a smile on his face. He looked up to his angel with such love and devotion. Ezekiel looked down at the human with adoration. They looked happy together, and Gabriel couldn’t help but feel a bit jealous. But smiled at his brother. He patted Ezekiel’s shoulder and motioned the two love birds inside. 

“Wait, Gabriel, is Sam inside?” Kevin asked as he walked past. The next angel in line to speak with Gabriel scoffed in disgust. Kevin, a chosen, was asking Gabriel, an archangel, a question. The nerve. The old angel turned his nose up at Ezekiel and Kevin. But Gabe thought nothing of it. 

“I believe so.” Gabriel didn’t actually know. All that he could feel from Sam’s connection was pain, and rejection. The more he thought about it, the worse he felt. Ezekiel recognized the look on his older brother’s face. He led Kevin away, an arm around his waist. Gabriel sighed. He just wanted to find Sam. 

 

In the dining room, Sam was just as miserable. Samandriel had escorted him into a corner. He had explained how Gabriel had wanted him out of the way, so he wouldn’t cause any trouble. Sam couldn’t argue, not that he would. He hated parties. But what he hated more was Gabriel thinking that he would get in the way. He knew better. 

He watched the angels filing into the room. Their Chosens’ following behind them like obedient puppies. They all look as miserable as Sam felt. His stomach was upset and his head was pounding. He was in pain. But he kept his feelings inside. He pushed them down, hoping that even Gabriel wouldn’t feel them. He brushed sweat from his forehead and loosened his tie. He was burning up. 

“Hello Sam!” a voice behind him said. Sam turned, coming face to face with Kevin, and his angel. 

“Kevin!” Sam had only met the young male a couple times, but he was the closest thing to a friend Sam currently had. Sam reached over to give the man a hug. He was careful to avoid the swell of the man’s stomach. “How are you doing?” 

“Fine. Ready to get this this thing out of me,” Kevin smiled as he talked. He rubbed his belly lovingly. Ezekiel held him close. He rubbed the side of his Chosens belling. He kissed Kevin’s cheek. Sam smiled sadly. At this rate he was never going to know that it felt like to care a child, or be held so lovingly. 

“When you are…?” Sam had a lot of questions. Kevin was one of the few Chosens to actually carry. Sam wanted to know what it was like. But he never got the chance. 

“Gabriel has entered the Gala. Go to him.” Samandriel ordered from beside the group. Technically, Sam didn't have to do anything Samandriel said, but he allowed himself to be lead away. He didn’t say anything to Kevin or his angel as he left. Gabriel was talking with Michael when he felt the tingling up his spin. He turned to find Sam standing behind him. 

“Michael, you remember my mate Sam?” Gabriel asked. He pulled Sam into the circle with a hand on his arm. Sam moved forward, trying not to flinch as Gabriel rubbed the welts on the back of his arm. Sam kept the smile on his face, knowing that Gabriel could feel the pain his touch had caused. The angel also kept the smile on his face, but he removed his hand. 

Gabriel was upset, but he was busy. He didn’t have time to dwell on his emotion, or the ones seeping into his mind from Sam’s connection. He pushed the pain the connection was causing to the back of his mind. He had no idea that his mate hated him so much that his touch caused him physical pain. 

“Yes, I remember Sam. How could I forget such a creature? How are you Sam?” 

“We’re fine, thank you,” Sam smiled. He knew Michael had only spoken to him out of politeness. He asked, but he didn’t really care. So Sam smiled and played along. 

He stood beside his angel. He smiled but overall stayed silent like the other Chosens. He answered the questions that were directed at him, but mostly everyone ignored him. He brush the sweat from his face. He stood still, in fear that his legs wouldn’t support him if he moved. Only a couple minutes into the conversation with Michael, Samandriel appeared and ushered Gabriel to a new conversation. 

“If you’ll excuse me.” Gabriel didn’t wait for an answer. Sam could tell from Gabriel’s voice that something was wrong. But he didn’t chase after his mate. Even though he wanted to. That would have been considered inappropriate. So Sam stayed. Without Gabriel the angels paid him no mind. Sam was forgotten. But he didn’t mind. He probable couldn’t have responded if they spoke to him. He was reaching his pain tolerance. His mind couldn’t focus, the pain was clouding his thoughts. 

“Gabriel is needed. Go fetch him.” Samandriel ordered from Sam’s side. He kept his voice low so only Sam could hear him. He said nothing to the angel in return. Sam walked away, his legs shaky as he went. 

Gabriel was across the room, he was talking with another group of angels. Sam approached with caution. He froze when he heard his name. Luckily, Gabriel’s back was to him, and the other angels would take no notice of him. So he was able to stand listening. 

“… Sam’s not getting any younger. It’s been almost a year, Gabriel.” Zachariah was saying. Sam snarled, he had never liked Zachariah anyway. 

“If he isn’t performing properly, you can always get a second,” Bartholomew picked up the conversation. “How many do you have now, Zachariah? Three?” 

“Four!” Zachariah laughed. Around the circle the angels joined in. Sam was discussed. The conversation continued, but Sam didn’t hear it. He stumbled out of the room, away from the Gala. 

Gabriel didn’t laugh along with his brothers. He didn’t say anything, in fear of starting an argument. He was tired of fighting. He was tried. He wanted to relax, at least for a little while. So he let his sibling think whatever they wanted. Even if they were wrong. Angels were stubborn and it would take more than one night to persuade his ignorant brethren. So, Gabriel nodded and sipped at his drink. 

“Sir?” Samandriel appeared beside him. Gabriel almost dropped his glass. 

“What do you need?” Gabriel tried not to be annoyed, even though he was. Samandriel was his assistant, but he drove Gabriel a little crazy. 

“Your presence has been required for the last eight minutes and twenty-four seconds.” 

“Then why didn’t you come get me?” 

“I asked Sam to, but it seems that he was unable to perform his task.” Around the circle the other angels chuckled. Gabriel grew more annoyed. He brushed it off. He thought that he had felt Sam’s presence minutes ago, but when he looked around Sam was nowhere to be seen. 

“Sam…” Gabriel looked about once more for his mate. A panic grew inside Gabe. Where was Sam? Gabriel searched the connection he shared with his mate. There was pain, and fear. Gabriel’s heart stopped. He had neglected his mate and now something was wrong with Sam. Gabriel didn’t say anything. He pushed his glass into Samandriel’s hand and was quickly away. Everyone looked after their host confused.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel didn’t know where he was going or what was leaving him, but he found himself outside Sam’s chambers. He hesitated, before he knocked. He didn’t wait before he badged in. Sam was curled up on his bed. His face buried in his pillows. 

Gabriel’s heart broke. He could tell that the human was crying. Gabriel approached with caution. He didn’t know what to do. Normally, when Sam cried Gabriel would run away. But something told him to stay, Sam was calling to him, silently pleading for Gabriel to stay, unknowing that he was doing so. 

“Sam,” Gabriel stopped beside the bed. Sam huddled deeper into his bed. He sobbed into his pillow. “Sam. Sam, please.” Gabriel hesitated before he seated himself on the bed beside Sam. The human inched away. Gabriel sighed. He was way out of his depths. “Sam, will you please tell me what is wrong.” 

Gabriel touched Sam’s arm lightly. Sam jumped, startled. But he didn’t pull away. His slowly stopped shaking, but he didn’t look up to his angel or speak. Gabriel took that as a good sign. 

“Do you want to tell me what happened?” Sam said nothing. Gabriel could feel that hesitation along with pain, fear, and sadness. “Please tell me.”

“I don’t want to be replaced,” Sam said through hiccuped sobs. He looked up to Gabriel and the angel looked concerned. Sam’s face was very pale. “Please don’t take a second.” 

Gabriel watched the tears fall from Sam’s eyes. Sam was sobbing, interrupted only by fits of couching. Gabriel watched, having no idea what was going on, or how to fix it. 

“Please, I’ll do anything… I’ll give you anything. I’ll give you a child. I promise… I swear. If you take a second, then… then you’ll forget about me. I don’t want you to forget me. Please Gabriel.” Sam hid his face in his hands. His breath was coming in spurts. His face was covered in sweat and he was very pale. 

“Oh Sam.” Gabriel was heartbroken. “Sam, please look at me.” Sam hesitated before looking up. Gabriel smiled softly. Even with his puffy eyes and red nose, Sam was the most beautiful thing Gabe had ever seen. “Sam, there is now way I could forget you. Ever. You are the most important thing to me.” Gabriel brushed Sam’s tears away. He kept his touches light and caring. Sam began coughing once more. Gabriel looked at him concerned. 

“I’m important to you? But you never… I thought… why didn’t you ever say anything?” Sam said between coughed. Gabriel rubbed the human’s back in an attempt to calm him. Sam couldn’t tell if Gabriel was lying to him, or if it was something more. 

“You were always so… I never wanted to force you into anything. I wanted you to be happy. But you were always so sad, it was like you always wanted to be somewhere else.” 

“Gabriel, I’m sorry. I never…”

“I don’t want you to apologize. I want… I want thing to be different.” Gabriel truly didn’t know what he wanted, but he didn’t want them to go back to the way they had been. “I thought maybe you would be able to… that we could be… more. But you took off your pendent and I wasn’t able to…”

“I only took off the pendent because Samandriel said that’s what you wanted.” Sam looked confused. “I wanted to keep it. So we could work it out.” Sam shifted, cringing in pain. Gabe looked at him concerned. “It’s nothing.” Sam shied away from his mate. 

“Sam, what happened?”

“I… punishment. The punishment you had Samandriel give me, for breaking the dishes earlier.” Sam didn’t want to show the pain that was truly filling him. Not just from his welts, but from the fact that Gabriel had lied to him. The angel had promised that he wasn’t mad about the accident. Samandriel’s punishment meant that Gabriel really had been mad, and had lied to him. 

“Sam, I never told Samandriel to punish you, or take off your pendent. I never told him to do any of those thing.”

“You never told him to give me suppressants?” 

“Suppressants?!” 

“Yes. Samandriel said that you wanted me to take them.” 

Gabriel was furious. Suppressants were dangerous, and illegal. The suppressants forced back the symptoms of the cycle and could cause the Chosen a long list of health problems. Fainting, seizures, strokes, blood clots and even death had been reported by angels who had their Chosens on suppressants. If a chosen took suppressants long enough, they could lose their ability to bear children all together. 

That was why they had been outlawed. The angel council had agreed that suppressants were unhealthy and they had been banned. Breaking the band meant that the angel would have to appear before the angelic court. That was enough of a threat that no one would dare break that rule. 

“Suppressants? Why would I… do you know what those things can do to you?” Gabriel was worried more than angry. He thought about all the things that could have gone wrong. Over the last year Gabriel could have lost his mate. Sam’s body could have just shut down and he would have been gone. The thought frightened Gabriel. 

“Yes,” Sam said soberly. He was currently feeling the effects. His heartbeat had been steadily increasing and he continued to brush sweat from his brow. Gabriel anger was gone in a flash, replaced with worry. He cupped Sam’s face, examining him Sam’s cheeks were pale, his eyes were dull and his forehead was hot to the touch. 

“Don’t worry,” Sam said weakly. He pulled from Gabriel’s grip hoping not to offend the angel. 

“Is it always like this?”

“No. Only the last couple time.” Sam explained with a cough. There was a rattling in his chest that Gabriel didn’t like. He grew angry again. Sam must have felt the bubbling rage because he flinch away from the angel. Gabriel captured his face in his palms once more. 

“I am not mad at you, Sam. Please believe me. You did nothing wrong. This not your fault. You understand?” Gabriel tried to be gentle as he spoke. Sam shook his head in understanding, only to start coughing once more. Gabriel felt helpless. He pulled the man into his arms, holding him until he was silent once more. He kissed Sam’s forehead in a loving manner, only to find it was getting warmer. 

“You need to get some rest.” Gabriel helped Sam lay down in the bed. He tucked the covers around him. 

“But the party…” Sam asked attempting to get up. “Ineedto…” 

“You need rest.” Gabriel lightly pushed him back into the pillows, Sam didn’t fight him. Gabriel was sad and angry. 

“Gabe, don’t…” Sam coughed. He extended his hand to his angel. Gabriel willingly took it, he figured Sam could feel his rage and was going to ask Gabriel not to do something stupid. “Don’t go…. Stay. Stay with me.” Gabriel’s heart broke. Sam had never actually asked him for anything, let alone something that actually kept Gabriel close. Sam must have been sicker then he thought. He took Sam’s large hand in both of his and kissed his knuckles. 

“I’m going to get Ezekiel, he knows about Chosen anatomy. He’ll be able to help. Then, I’ll be right back. I promise.” He placed the human’s hand lightly on the bed, Sam made a pained sound. Gabriel realized Sam had been leeching Grace to help lessen his pain. “I’ll be right back. Everything will be alright.” Gabriel kissed his forehead, and was gone before Sam could argue.


	7. Chapter 7

Gabriel was in the dining room. He said nothing to his siblings as he passed them. Gabriel was focused. Samandriel was laughing with a group of their brothers. He was still holding Gabriel’s glass. He was giving orders to the workers as if he was the host. Gabriel was furious. 

“Gabriel, there you are. We wondered where...” Zachariah began as Gabriel approached. Gabriel said nothing. He didn’t stop walking. He slapped the glass from Samandriel’s hand, it shattered on the wooden floor. 

“Gabriel?! What…?” Bartholomew asked quickly. The conversation in the room had fallen silent. All eyes were on him. But Gabriel took no notice. He kept his eyes focused on Samandriel. The lesser angel looked confused and frightened. 

“Gabriel…?” Samandriel could see the anger in his general’s eyes. He didn’t get to finish his sentence. Gabriel’s hand was around his throat. Gabriel pushed Samandriel against the wall, his hand hold him tight. Samandriel struggled to breathe. 

“Gabriel, what is going on?” Michael ordered. Gabriel didn’t loosen his grip but Michael was his superior, he was required to answer. 

“He’s been giving Sam suppressants!” Gabriel said through gritted teeth. A low mummer arose from the dining hall. 

“Do you have proof?” 

“Sam told me, and now he is sick.” 

“But do you have proof?” 

“Sam’s word is enough proof!” Gabriel yelled at his brother. Sam would never lie to him. 

“Is this true?” Michael asked. Samandriel said nothing. His eyes avoiding all contact. The silver blade quickly appeared in Gabriel’s hand, and he held tightly to the hilt. 

“You could have killed him. You had no right!” 

“Sam didn’t deserve you. You’re a general, Sam is the son of a mechanic. You are too good for him.” Samandriel explained. Gabriel tightened his grip. Samandriel’s feet dangled above the floor. He attempted to struggle in Gabriel’s grip, but the archangel was stronger. Gabriel acted without hesitation. He thrust the blade into Samandriel’s stomach. He watched the lesser angel’s eyes flash blue then white. Samandriel’s body went limp and Gabriel let it fall to the floor. 

Gabriel pushed past Michael, who stood stunned. All of the angels were stunned. Gabriel was a laid back, fun loving angel, for him to kill Samandriel meant that he had done something seriously wrong. 

“Ezekiel?” Gabriel ordered his brother over. The tall angel didn’t hesitate to be at Gabriel’s side. 

“Is Sam alright?” 

“He has a fever, and a cough. He said that Samandriel had punished him, but he didn’t specify how.” Gabriel snapped his finger and they were in Sam’s room. Sam looked miserable. His face was even paler. Gabriel was quickly to Sam’s side. 

“Sam?” Gabriel kept his voice soft. Sam shifted in his bed. He opened his eyes. “See, I told you I’d be right back.” He smiled at his Chosen. The smile disappeared when he looked at Ezekiel. His eyes were worried and pleading. He didn’t have to say anything, Ezekiel knew what he needed to do something. 

“Sam, you’re going to tell me what happened and I’m going to try and fix it.” Ezekiel ordered lightly. He looked to Gabriel for permission, which was willingly given. Gabriel held Sam’s hand the whole time. Ezekiel examined Sam’s eyes, nose and the texture of his skin. When Ezekiel asked for Sam to remove his shirt, Sam tried and failed to protest. He began coughing instead. The two angels help him to sit up. Gabriel could feel Sam’s insecurity. 

“It’s all right Sam,” Gabriel stroked Sam’s hair. 

“But… No other… Only you.” Sam clung to Gabriel. The angel understood what Sam meant. A chosen was only allowed to be unclothed in front of their angel. 

“It’s alright, Sam, Ezekiel is a Chosen doctor. He can see you.” Gabriel kissed Sam’s forehead. He slowly unbuttoned Sam’s jacket. Ezekiel stood back, allowing the couple some privacy. 

Sam had tears in his eyes when Gabriel slid the undershirt over his head. Sam huddled in on himself, he didn’t want Gabriel to see him. Gabriel caught his breath. He had never seen Sam without his clothes. Sam always faced away from him when they interacted. Sam was gorgeous. His body was sculpted, as if Gabriel’s father had taken extra care creating the young man. 

But he was covered in black and blue welts. It made Gabriel angry. He took Sam’s hand, seeing the scars on Sam’s wrist for the first time. Sam pulled away, his eyes down. Gabriel opened his mouth to speak, but Ezekiel stepped forward. Sam was getting worse. A knock on the door took Gabriel’s attention, but he didn’t move. The knock came again. 

“Sam, I have to get the door. Ezekiel is going to stay with you. Okay?” Gabriel was out of the room within a millisecond. Castiel turned from the doorway to his brother. Gabriel looked worried, without thinking Gabriel pulled Castiel into a hug. Castiel was unmated, so he had no emotion of his own, but his time on earth had taught him to understand and read emotions. Currently Gabriel was frightened and worried. Castiel didn’t know what to do. He patted Gabriel’s back awkwardly.

“I… umm… I heard what happened. I came as quickly as possible. I took it upon myself to call an end to your party. I felt it was causing you extra stress. I hope you don’t mind.” 

“Thank you.” Gabriel said with a heavy sigh. He pulled Castiel to arm’s length. He smiled up at Cas. 

“Um…. How is Sam?” 

“Hopefully he’ll be alright. Ezekiel is checking him out now.” 

“Michael was hesitant to leave, but I was persistent.” Gabriel smiled at that. “He was the last one out.” 

“If the Gala is over and everyone is gone. Where is Kevin?” Ezekiel appeared in the doorway, looking concerned. 

“Don’t worry. Kevin is currently in the kitchen, making tea. He said it would make Sam feel better.” Ezekiel let out a visible sigh of relief. 

“Did you find out what is wrong with Sam?” 

“I believe so. His body is rejecting the suppressants. It is making him sick.” Gabriel was pale. He clung to Castiel’s arm. 

“Is there something we can do?” 

“No, there’s nothing we can do.” Gabriel’s knees went weak. Castiel held him, keeping him from falling. “But Gabriel can help him.” Gabriel perked up at that. 

“Tell me what to do. I’ll do anything.” 

“You need to stay with him. You’re his angel and your grace will help him heal. I found no damage that can’t be healed with a couple days of transference.” Gabriel let out a deep breathe. He would spend the rest of his life connected to Sam if that’s what it took. 

“Is Sam going to be alright?” Kevin asked. He waddled down the hallway, holding two cups. The three angels smiled at him.

“We believe Sam will be fine. He just needs to spend some time with his angel.” Ezekiel turned his attention to Gabriel. 

“I agree. If you would like, I can take care of everything so you and Sam can have some time together?” Castiel offered. Gabriel smiled at his brothers. He thanked them both quickly, kissing Kevin’s cheek before disappearing back into Sam’s room. 

Sam was asleep when Gabriel returned to his bed side. The man’s face was pale, and his breathing was labored. Gabriel could only feel pain from their connection. Gabriel didn’t hesitate. He crawled into the bed, tucking himself under the covers. Forming himself around Sam’s body. 

He snapped his fingers and both his and Sam’s clothes were gone. The skin to skin contact would allow for better transfer. Gabriel wouldn’t lie in saying that he liked the feeling of Sam’s skin against his. Kissing Sam’s neck and he held him close. Gabriel was still worried, but holding his mate made him feel better.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriel didn’t sleep. He spent the night listening to Sam’s breathing. He counted the man’s heartbeats. He concentrated on Sam, running his hands along Sam’s back and shoulders. He felt Sam’s fever slowly decrease. He concentrated and the welts on Sam’s shoulders back vanished into new pink skin. He ran his over it repeatedly, feeling pleasure through the pendent they both wore. He continued running his hand over and over the skin, enjoying the feeling of pleasure. Sam must have also, because his erection grew under the covers. Gabriel’s erection grew in turn, his Chosen’s arousal effecting him. 

Sam slowly stirred awake, Gabriel still rubbing the repaired skin. Sam mummed and moaned in approval, making small sounds Gabriel had never heard before. But he liked them. Sam’s pelvis shifted, pressing himself back into Gabriel. Gabriel couldn’t contain the sound that escaped his lips. Sam froze, his body stiffened and he shifted away from Gabriel. For a long moment there was no movement, but Gabriel could tell that Sam was still aroused. When Sam’s hand shifted, Gabriel expected to feel arousal through the breach. But the shooting pain startled and scared him. 

“Sam! Stop!” Gabriel order, and Sam froze. His hand still around his softening prick.

“I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I know I’m not allowed to touch it… But I couldn’t… I’m sorry.” Sam pleaded. Gabriel felt pain and fear through the breach. 

“No Sam, that’s not. I’m not mad at you. Well I am… but I just… why did you do that?” Gabriel asked concerned. He kept his voice light, trying not to frighten the already startled man. 

“I’m not supposed to… In training, they taught us that we shouldn’t have… it was disobedient for use to show that we were… that we like it.” Sam said shyly. 

“Training? What training?” Gabriel asked confused. 

“You sent me to training… So I could be good for you. I could be a good chosen.” 

“No I didn’t! When was that?” 

“I was there before our mating ceremony.” 

“No… No. You were on sabbatical. You were in Europe. Italy. Spain. London! Samandriel said…” That’s when it hit him, Samandriel had lied. Gabriel fell silent. Looking up at the ceiling with a heavy sigh. “How long were you there?” 

“Two years.” 

“Two? Jesus! Sam why did you… Why didn’t you say anything to me?” 

“I thought you knew. I thought that is what you wanted. Samandriel said…” Sam fell silent. 

“Tell me what he said!” Gabriel ordered sharply. Sam physically flinched away from him, and Gabriel look a deep breath. “Sam, will you please tell me what Samandriel said?” 

“He said that I… I had to go to training because I wasn’t… wasn’t good enough for you. Even when he picked me up from the school, the day of our ceremony, he still said that I wasn’t good enough.” Sam sounded pained as he spoke. 

“Oh Sam… Sammy.” Gabriel let out a heavy high. He didn’t understand how things had gotten so out of hand between the two of them. “That’s why you were cry at the ceremony.” Sam opened his mouth and closed it again. Gabriel could feel his hesitation. “Tell me, Sam, Please.” 

“That wasn’t the only reason, I was… upset that day.” Sam hesitated again. Gabriel took a chance and took Sam’s hand under the blanket. 

“Please.” 

“I always thought when… if I got mated, my family would be there. But you said… Samandriel said that you didn’t want them there.” 

“Samandriel said that your family abandoned you. That they hated you because you were a chosen.” 

“That’s not true. Dean was a great brother. He never let anyone treat me different because of what I was. Dad treated me the same as Dean. They loved me. They were good to me.” 

“How long has it been, since you saw them last?” 

“Almost three years.” Sam said sadly. 

“Maybe when you feel better, we could go see them?” 

“Really?” There was a ping of joy through the pendent. 

“Of course. But not until you feel better.” Gabriel squeezed Sam’s hand lightly. There was a hesitation, before Sam squeezed back. They laid in silence for a long moment. 

“Sam, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.” 

“Gabriel. Please. Please don’t. I should be the sorry one. It’s my fault.” Gabriel could feel the pain, and fear from Sam. 

“No, please Sam. This is not your fault. It was Samandriel. He was… I should have known. All this time, things could have been different and it’s my fault.” Gabriel curled into Sam, hoping that his Grace would comfort his mate. 

“It’s not your fault. Never your fault. You’re perfect. I’m screw up.” Sam allowed himself to be held tightly by his mate. He couldn’t stop the tears from falling from his eyes. 

“You’re not a screw up. You’re perfect. You’ve been perfect since I met all those years ago. I really thought you were away. Those years before our ceremony, I thought you were away, living your own life. I wanted you to have a life. Go on adventures. Live. I’m so sorry you were stuck in that awful place.” Gabriel kissed Sam’s forehead. A spark shot through Sam, causing Gabriel to respond in kind. He shifted away, this was not a moment for arousal. But Sam’s cycle was approaching, and Gabriel couldn’t help himself. 

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t…” Sam shifted his hips way. Gabriel took a chance, moving after Sam. A hand on Sam’s hips, he connected their hips together, enjoying the sounds Sam made. “Please. Gabe. No.” Sam asked breathlessly. Reluctantly, Gabriel pulled away from him. Respecting Sam’s wished. “I’m sorry.” 

“Don’t apology. But don’t be ashamed. It’s okay to feel good.” Gabriel kissed him again. 

“They told us… Taught us. We shouldn’t like it.” Sam moved his hand towards his groin and Gabriel already knew his intentions. He snatched up Sam’s hand by the wrist. Sam let out a frustrated sound, his hips moving forward on instinct. Gabriel took both of Sam’s hand in one of his, moving the other low down Sam’s body. He wrapped his hand lightly around Sam’s erection. Sam make a pained sound. 

“Do you like that?” Gabriel asked, keeping his movement light. 

“Yes. No. Please.” Sam pleaded. 

“I want you to forget everything they taught you at that stupid school and I want you to tell me. Yes or no. Do you like this?” Gabriel clarified in a light order. 

“Yes.” Sam was breathy as he answered. Gabriel quickened his movement. His own arousal directly corresponding, the pendent heightening both their feelings. He could feel how close Sam was. He released the man’s hands, choosing to cup Sam’s face instead. Sam’s hands held tightly to his forearm, gripping tighter the closer he got. 

“Look at me Sam.” He ordered. Sam’s eyes were closed, tears running down his cheeks. “Open your eyes, Babe. Look at me.” Gabriel order with a little more force. Like a good chosen, Sam couldn’t disobey a direct order. He open his eyes, meeting Gabriel’s gaze. Gabriel felt him explode in his hand. Sam’s mouth dropped open and his body tightened, but his eyes never left Gabriel. The angel didn’t think he had seen anything so beautiful in all his millenniums alive. 

He stroked Sam through it, watching the man’s body tense and relax. Finally, Sam’s body went limp on the bed. Gabriel moved his hand away, snapping his fingers to clean up the mess. He used his newly freed hand to brush the sweaty hair from Sam’s forehead. The man hadn’t said a word, his eyes closed again. Tears still rolled down his cheeks. It took Gabriel several moments to realize that Sam could have truly not wanted to be touched. A dread set deep into his soul. He could have just taken Sam’s first time. Raped the man he loved. 

“Sam, please. Baby, will you please tell me what’s wrong?” Gabriel asked lightly, his hands cupping Sam’s face. He pulled the man on top of him, allowing Sam to hide his face in the crook of Gabriel’s neck. There was a whirlwind of emotions from the pendent, and Gabriel couldn’t make heads or tails of it. “Please, Sam, tell me.” 

“I liked it.” Sam murmured with a hiccupped sob.

“And?” Gabriel was genuinely confused. 

“I shouldn’t have. It’s against the rules for chosen’s to feel pleasure. It’s a sin. Only angels are allowed to feel it. And I failed you. And… now… now you’re going to get a better chosen, one who can follow the rules. One who can make you feel good and not think about themselves so much.” Sam cried, fear eminent in their connection. He tried to move away, but Gabriel help him tight.

“It’s not a sin to feel good, Sam. I wanted you to feel that way, wanted you to cum. I wanted you to feel the way I feel every time I’m around you. And there is no better Chosen in all the words then you. You are the most selfless, perfect person in all of father’s creation. You did make me feel good. I felt good knowing that you felt good.” 

Gabriel wiped the tears from the man’s eyes, cupping his face. He leaned in slowly, allowing Sam to pull away if he want to. He didn’t. Gabriel moved his lips slowly against the man’s, encouraging Sam to follow his lead. He did. He relished the first kiss him and his mate shared since the quick peck on the day of their ceremony. Gabriel pulled from Sam, the human chasing after his lips as soon as they parted. 

He hugged tightly to Sam, and in turn Sam clung to him. He interlocked their hands. Both of them radiating contentment. Gabriel hand brushed over the scars on Sam’s wrist. He vowed, in that moment, he would move heaven and earth so Sam never had to feel unloved again. Gabriel ran his glowing hands over every inch of Sam’s body, healing all his scars and pains the human ever had. He returned to rubbing at the man’s wrist, the new skin soft, sensitive and scar free. It was a new beginning for both of them.

**Author's Note:**

> Upon request a squeal is being considered. This work is now added to my 'Chosen' series. Further work to be added at an undetermined time.


End file.
